Realistic Expectations

Two occurrences this week trigger my thought process. 

A movie.

An adolescent discovers his same sex attraction.

He hides it. 

He communicates and shares his struggles online with an unknown male.

He tells his close male and female friends.

All accept him. 

One rejects him.

On his personal computer his mother discovers the online conversations.

She’s shocked; confronts him, “Are you gay?’ 

His response, “Yes.”

She’s upset, angry. She rejects him. She denies the reality.

In response, he contemplates suicide.

Parental expectations misaligned with reality.

A pastoral visit to a nursing home.

Encountered ten awesome, incredibly beautiful, and wise elders.

One draws my attention – William.

65 years of age.

A tall slender man curled in foetal position in bed staring upward to the ceiling.

Clenched hands. Clenched fists, barely communicating only with his eyes.

His story.

Suffers from epilepsy from childhood.

Years of epileptic attacks slowly destroy braincells.

Unable to care for himself, his family cares for him since childhood.

After mother’s death, siblings accept the relay baton to this day.

Family expectations gradually grew in alignment with reality.

Expectations versus reality.

We have expectations – real and unreal.

Expectations about . . .

. . . personal lives.

. . . our biological children.

. . . intimate relationships.

. . . families, friends, and foes.

. . . nation and the world.

. . . church, religion.

. . . .career, job. 

Expectation is like a dream.

A dream is futuristic and unreal.

Reality is now.

Now is real. 

Expectation is within our control.

Reality is outside our control.

Expectation is at one end of a continuum.

Reality on the other.

Expectation and reality need to meet at the centre.

Remain separate, it’s


When they are married, It’s called 


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