Growth in trust is snail-like movement.
Like a snail we slowly build trusting relationships.
As we crawl, we use our snail antennas to feel out individuals and groups.
Who is this person or group?
How do they think and behave?
What’s his/her story?
How about their gifts?
What are their values and beliefs?
Will I feel secure with them?
Will they hurt me?
Will they receive my story gently and non-judgmentally?
Are they reliable and dependable?
If we feel threatened, like snails we stop and retreat into our protective shells.
When the proverbial coast is clear, we emerge, continue along the same path, or change direction.
Brené Brown borrows from Charles Feltman who says, “Trust is choosing to make something important to you vulnerable to the actions of someone else.”
Brown continues, “Trust isn’t built in grand gestures but in the small moments when people treat what is important to you with care.”
Brown coins the acronym BRAVING to describe trust.
- BOUNDARIES – understanding and respecting our personal limits and the limits of others
- RELIABILITY – doing what you say
- ACCOUNTABILITY – owning up to our mistakes and making amends
- The VAULT – Storing information about the other in a vault, only revealing it with their permission
- INTEGRITY – “choosing courage over comfort . . .what’s right over what’s fun, fast, or easy.”
- NON-JUDGMENT – being vulnerable with someone without being judged by them.
- GENEROSITY – kind in my words, intentions, behaviour.
Growth in trust is a snail-like movement.
It requires patience, tolerance, understanding.
Most of all, God’s grace.